"Hey, Katie, I'm just curious. How many hits do you have on your blog?"
"I don't know; maybe 300 or so."
"Oh, nice."
My sisters and I have a lot in common. Amongst our comparable qualities is one very distinct characteristic that we all three share: competitiveness.
At the age of three, Erin's hair grew longer than mine. I took issue with her golden locks and wasn't about to let her hair grow longer, so I chopped off one pig tail. Just like that, the golden locks were gone, and my hair once again reigned supremely longer than my younger sisters. At least one side of it.
I'm not the only one guilty of an intense competitive nature, however. My younger sister, Bekah, played college ball with Erin. During one particular practice, Erin and Bek were put on two opposing teams. Erin took her post position and went up for a great shot, followed by a smooth follow through. Bekah's nature set in - the same one that caused me to chop my unsuspecting little sister's hair. Bekah robustly boxed out my sister, ready to re-bound. Erin fell backward, shattering both elbows. She had casts for weeks. On both sides.
A few weeks ago Erin started a blog about her new found journey- a "live" diary of a young woman and mother with breast cancer. So, when she called inquiring about my blog a few weeks back, I assumed her pointed question was, perhaps, heading in the direction of: ""Oh, wise, older sister of mine, please, oh please, tell me how to do this blog thing..."
I responded to her: "Why do you want to know about the hits? How many hits do you have?"
Erin unassumingly answered: "Oh, I'm not entirely sure. It's like somewhere around.....6,000."
I could just feel the deep, wide-spread smile on the other line.
There's no doubt that cancer changes a lot. It changes a lot for the person fighting this disease. Amongst the many other changes, the chemo will alter my sister's physical appearance. It will change her daily routine with her three precious children. It will change future decisions and plans.
From the moment my sister uttered the phrase, "Katie, I have it," cancer has changed some things for me. It has allowed me to see Erin's unabashed and unshakable faith in Jesus like I have never seen before.
Cancer has changed my uninterrupted sleep. I am up fairly consistently during the early hours of the morning thinking about the changes that are to come for my sister. Just the other night, I came out of a deep sleep quite alarmed. I checked on the kids, and once I realized everyone was sleeping peacefully, I began praying for my sister. The Lord would not let her off my my mind during the next hour. In the morning she told me she was up much of the night terribly uncomfortable with hives.
I've also been reminded of something else that cancer can change. It can change our perspective. It can remind us that God alone is in control, lest we forget due to the whispers of the world around us claiming desperately and hopefully that we have some say in what tomorrow will bring. If we don't have control over our own physical bodies, then we certainly can't claim control of anything else around us. Cancer changes our earthly perspective.
But, cancer doesn't change everything. God is in control, cancer doesn't change that. My sister is a child of the King. Cancer most definitely can't change that. My sister's and I are very close. Cancer doesn't change that. I am a worrying, older sister. Cancer, unfortunately, doesn't change that. And, honestly, my sisters and I have a competitive nature. Cancer doesn't even change that.
You can visit my sister's blog at www.erinfray.blogspot.com
