Out of the Mouths of My Babes

The other day, while watching Lily and Jrod played outside, I noticed Lily playing too close to the street. I quickly ran over and reminded her to not get too close, or a car might hurt her. As I walked away, I heard Jrod's commentary on my parental advice: "Lily, it's OK. If a car hurts you, you would just go to heaven. There's really fun stuff there."

I've wondered at times about what comes out of my kid's mouths. But the more they say, the more I realize that most of their editorial comments and inquisitive questions are usually the product of their innocent (albeit sometimes confused) perspectives on life. And at times the comments even humble us as parents.

While driving home in Chris' long awaited new car, Jrod asked the ultimate question: "Mom, Dad, how much did this car cost?" When we told him, he responded without question: "Holy Cow. You definitely don't have that much money. I mean, mom doesn't even have a real job." Once again, I let the "real job" comment pass, and I tried to focus on the car situation.

"Jrod, you're right we don't have enough money, so we borrowed it from the bank, and then we'll pay the bank back."

"Oh, I get it," totally satisfied with my answer, "you guys got something you didn't have enough money to buy because you really wanted it. Can I get a pool?"

Unbelievable. We both knew there was no honest explanation, so we just said no to the pool. When Jrod asked, “Why,” we simply added the common phrase parents use when they don't really have a formed answer to a well thought out question: "Because we said so."

Over the years I have come to appreciate and even treasure the various statements that come out of our kid's mouths. The following are a few selected comments that have come from our beloved children during the last couple of years:

When Ella's friend told her that a girl in their class is Egyptian, Ella responded: "Oh, No! I thought she worshiped the One True God!"

While Jrod was using the bathroom, I told him I'd run down and get him some more toilet paper. His unnerving response: "It's OK, mom, I just used the shower curtain."

Jrod explained to Lily on one occasion the fine details of the Trinity: "Lily, God is three persons: The Father, The Son, and The Holy Monster."

Ella found a teachable moment for her younger brother when passing by a graveyard: "Jrod, everyone dies at some point. When they die, you have a funeral, and then you put the body in a Quesadilla."

Ella was explaining to her friend why I had stitches in my leg: "My mom has stitches because she had a mole removed." Ella's friend asked her what a mole is, and Ella responded quite confidently, "A mole is what happens when you leave food out. She probably left old food on her leg."

Jrod remains confident to this day on his thoughts regarding his younger sister: "Mom, did you know that Lily is a boy? I mean, mom, look at her."

One of our finer teaching moments as parents came after the following conversation I had with my son while cleaning the kitchen: Jrod said very curiously, "Mom, when in the world is Dad going to become a Christian?"

I told him with all surety that Dad was already a Christian.

"No way! You mean Dad is a Christian like Tim Tebow? "

And yet another one of Jrod's many random comments on the way home from school: "Mom, in my whole life, I only know one person who is going to hell."

"Who is that, Jrod?"

"That man who came to our door and gave us all that stuff about Jehovah."

A few days before Easter, I was working on a piano piece that I intended to play during our Church’s Worship Service. Jrod called to me from the kitchen: "Mom, is that a new song you’re trying out?"

"Yep. It's for Easter. Do you like it?"

"Mom, it kind of sounds like a nervous wreck."

All out of the mouths of my babes.......and there still is a third who is learning how to put together words that will eventually transform into the kinds of editorial comments that all at once give us ulcers, good laughs, and full, full hearts.