Tall Tales

My son is extremely gullible. For the last several weeks, he's been complaining about a scorpion that's been hiding in his bed. Due to the unwelcome creature, he has refused to use his covers. Instead, Jrod has requested a light, but itchy, wool blanket that barely covered him. I needed to do something about the situation.

So, one morning I came down the stairs and announced that I had caught the scorpion. He looked at me with big, believing eyes: "No way, mom! What did he look like?"

It was as easy as that. "Well, Jrod, he was green, but a nice green, not a mean green."

"Where did you put him?" I anticipated this question, figuring he would want to see the creature.

"In the toilet."

"Mom, you killed the scorpion!" This, I did not anticipate.

I thought quick. "You see, when the scorpions go down the toilet, they go into a river. Once they're in the river, they're safe."

"Oh, man, Mom. So he's going to come back!"

Good grief. This one was keeping me on my toes. "No, Jrod, he won't come back because he was a winter scorpion. You see, it's spring and almost summer now. So he's gone - he doesn't like the warmer weather."

"Great. Glad that's over." That night my son pulled up his covers....for the first time in a month.

Sometimes, I can't believe how easy it is. And sometimes after one of these tall tales, I wonder to myself: what is more disturbing? The fact that he believes every word I say or the fact that these fictional stories come so easily to me?

Tonight, once again, my son proved his absolute vulnerability and I proved my fictional creativity (for the sake of argument). I put curlers in Ella's hair for the first time, just to try something new. When I was finished, Jrod came downstairs and exclaimed, "Mom, what in the world is in Ella's hair?"

"Alien reactors, Jrod. You see, these help Ella to get a better sense of what the Aliens are saying."

Ella stood there very still. She is a rational child. A child with a conscience (which clearly does not come from her mother). I could tell that she was having an internal debate - do I tell him that these are plain old curlers, or do I tell him the sensation I'm getting from the Alien's messages?

After getting as close to Ella as he would allow himself, Jrod spoke up very cautiously: "Ella, what does it feel like? Do you feel it in your brain or is it just like sharp? " I couldn't help myself. "Jrod, she can't feel it, she can only hear them."

"Wow."

Ella couldn't take it anymore. "OK, OK, they're just curlers, Jrod. They just make my hair curly!" I suppose I should be thankful that when my husband is away, there is at least one adult in the house.

Jrod tilted his head and replied with a very simple, "Oh."

The funny thing is that I couldn't sleep last night. There was something bothering me that I couldn't shake. I tried to rationalize my absurd and ridiculous thoughts, but what if my worries had merit? What then? So, at 2:30 in the morning, I crept into my sons room, lifted up his newly used blankets and did a big swipe. No scorpions.

I deserved that wrest less night.